Chucky is seeing things a lot clearer these days. Recently outfitted with an incredibly ridiculous-looking sleep apnea machine, ‘ol Chuck is spending a lot of time in REM sleep. As a bit of a joke, his wife switched the distilled water in the machine with liquid helium. When Chucky woke up, he was floating precariously close to Cuban air space and in danger of being shot down.
(1/14)
JONESVILLE @ CONCORD – In order to spice things up, both teams play one-handed, while in the other hand they carry a walking taco from the concession stand. PICK: JONESVILLE
MASON @ WESTERN – Mason fans are still angry over a recent prank in their fine town, when someone climbed up the water tower and painted the name ‘Perry’ in front of the word Mason. The joke was on the prankster, though, when it was later revealed no one remembered who Perry Mason was. PICK: WESTERN
SPRINGPORT @ LUMEN CHRISTI (GIRLS) – The Lady Titans and Lady Spartans get together in a good, old fashioned matchup of mythical Greek Gods and some elite warriors. The Springport girls wear fake beards during the game to emulate King Leonidas. The Titans, however, are not fooled. PICK: LUMEN CHRISTI
JACKSON @ OKEMOS (GIRLS)- In a transportation flub, no one shows up to drive the J-High bus to the game. Chelsy Hall volunteers for the gig, but drives the bus in the manner she plays – which is really, really fast. The Vikings arrive six hours before game time and repaint the water tower to look like a big UFO. PICK: JACKSON
(1/16)
MICHIGAN CENTER @ NAPOLEON: The Pirates get a pep talk before the game from legendary captain Jack Sparrow. Sparrow’s appearance, however, merely angers senior Kohl Roberts who takes it out on the Cardinals. PICK: NAPOLEON
(1/17)
EAST JACKSON @ GRASS LAKE (GIRLS) – As the snow piles melt in the school parking lot, strange items become visible – including a few shopping carts, parts of an old lawn mower, an engine block and what may or may not be proof of life on other planets. PICK: GRASS LAKE
(1/18)
HOCKEY: JACKSON UNITED vs. LUMEN CHRISTI: Chucky hasn’t been involved in hockey since his college days, when he once challenged a hockey player to a fight and was subsequently pummeled in front of friends. Seeking revenge, Chucky steals the zamboni and attempts to leave the arena on a rampage, but is quickly subdued by a group of parents and beaten mercilessly. PICK: JACKSON UNITED