skip to Main Content

Chucky B

The 2013 high school football playoffs are here and Chucky Buckles, a sage of predictions and many, many irrelevant things, congratulates all the local teams that made the cut!


That being said, predictions must be made….


PARCHMENT (6-3) @ Lumen Christi (9-0): The actual definition of ‘parchment’ is quite disturbing. It’s ‘skin of a sheep or goat one uses on which to write.’ So from this, we can deduce the town was named after bizarre skin-writing goat herders. The Titans survived the big scare at Howell, and look forward to a plain ‘ol matchup with the Panthers, who may or may not have uniforms made out of goat skin. PICK: LUMEN CHRISTI


CONSTANTINE (5-4) @ MICHIGAN CENTER (8-1): Keanu Reeves, who played Constantine in the movie Constantine based on the comic book called Constantine, is on hand to root for Constantine. The Cardinals pull a fast one and bribe him with 23 root beer floats from Rudy’s. The ploy works. PICK: MICHIGAN CENTER

MANCHESTER (7-2) @ GRASS LAKE (8-1): The Flying Dutchmen beat Grass Lake earlier this year, but that sort of thing generally just angers the Warriors and makes them quite surly. A catapult hurls soft, salted pretzels at Manchester fans as they enter the grounds. Duly shocked, the Dutch never recover. PICK: GRASS LAKE

READING (6-3) @ HOMER (8-1): These teams played in September and Homer won 41-0 on their way to that 8-0 start. The Trojans coaching staff, in a team-building exercise, had the players walk on hot coals this week. Still angry at losing the Grass Lake game, the players ate the coals instead. Any team that eats hot coals gets my vote. PICK: HOMER

SPRINGPORT (6-3) @ LAWTON (8-1): Another solid year for Chucky’s beloved Spartans, but Lawton has scored more than 60 points three times this season. Also, their team name is the Blue Devils – and other than Duke – what’s cooler than a Blue Devil mascot? PICK: LAWTON

HILLSDALE (6-3) @ JONESVILLE (7-2): Chucky’s wife, the famous Jonesville track star, always dreamed of a Hillsdale and Jonesville football playoff matchup. At last she gets her wish, along with a large order of fries from the local McDonalds. PICK: HILLSDALE 

Back To Top