Perfection – thy name is Chucky Buckles. That’s right, kids, ‘ol Chucky became the first feline to achieve a Zen-like state with last week’s perfect 10-0 record in the picks. Something like that hadn’t been done since the Great Helsinki Incident of 1922, and I think we all know how that turned out. But Chucky’s work is never done…
Ida @ Columbia Central: Ida’s team name is the Blue Streaks. The last time Chucky had blue streaks he spent a week in the clinic. PICK: Ida
Hanover-Horton @ Manchester: The Comets are in rarified air at 4-0, but the Dutch aren’t impressed. They secretly replace the fine Gatorade they usually serve the visiting team with Folger’s Crystals. Google it. PICK: Manchester
Grand Ledge @ Jackson: The Ledge’s mascot, ‘Ronny the Ram,’ breaks loose in the third quarter and goes on the run. He later enters the game and kicks a field goal to add insult to injury. PICK: Grand Ledge
Marshall @ Lumen Christi: In a highly controversial move, Marshall High administrators agree to change their team name again, this time from Red Hawks to Mathers. Only a handful are impressed. PICK: Lumen Christi
Michigan Center @ Napoleon: Trying to give the team a boost, MC fans drag along the giant, inflatable cardinal to this game. Sadly, they fill it with pure helium and it floats away. Later it’s shot down by F-18’s somewhere over Washington. No charges are filed. PICK: Napoleon
Northwest @ Coldwater: The Mounties stop on their way to Coldwater to help a pair of old ladies who need a tire changed. Fearing the worst, the ladies kick each Mountie player in the shin and this really, really hurts. PICK: Coldwater
Addison @ Vandercook Lake: Addison skips the game altogether and instead enjoys a team meal at the new Klavon’s location. Vandy accepts the forfeit, 2-0, along with some cheesy bread. PICK: Vandercook Lake
Western @ Charlotte: Western fans release a wild panther at the game, which probably isn’t a smart move. It then mauls a Charlotte fan lathered in meat sauce. Which begs the question – who brings a live panther to a football game? PICK: Western
Homer @ Jonesville: In the annual battle for the ‘Ol Rusty Boot,’ Homer wins out. It’s later revealed that there was never an ‘ol rusty boot’ because boots are made of leather. PICK: Homer
Detroit Allen Academy @ Grass Lake: Warrior coaches told the players they’d be seeing ‘The Maze Runner’ instead of playing a game this weekend because of East Jackson forfeiting. Furious over missing out on all that buttered popcorn, Grass Lake pummels their visitors. PICK: Grass Lake
Erie-Mason @ Hillsdale: ‘Ancient Astronaut Theorists’ suggest aliens may have shaped our world. This begs the question – How does one become an ‘ancient astronaut theorist?’ PICK: Hillsdale
Perry @ Stockbridge: A controversy is brewing in Stockbridge, where a group of residents are trying to change the town’s name to ‘Stonehenge.’ While this doesn’t make much sense, it’s a heck of a story. PICK: Stockbridge
Rockford @ Caledonia: Rockford’s equipment is stolen before the game, forcing the Rams to play the contest with big bean bags duct taped to themselves. The whole thing is kind of silly. PICK: Rockford